Explaining Can Be Tricky
by megvaughn2003
Summary: Vaughn finds Sydney. Things have changed, can Vaughn undo the damage?
1. Lost and Found

Explaining Can Be Tricky  
  
S/V Romance with Angst. I promise it will have a happy ending. It may take awhile to get there, but it will.  
  
Another post-The Telling; Vaughn POV; Thoughts in double parentheses; R/R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias, or any characters associated with the show.  
  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  
  
"Vaughn, why is that ring on your finger?"  
  
"Sydney, I. You've been gone for two years."  
  
"What!?! Does anyone have a clue to where I've been? And you still haven't answered my question"  
  
((Crap, I thought distracting her would work. Guess she hasn't changed too much, still the one track mind Sydney I knew.)) "I really can't explain right now. We need to get to the plane, get you home. I'll explain everything on the way."  
  
"You know what; I don't want to know anymore. Just get me home."  
  
All the way to the airport she won't look at me. She doesn't even glance my way. ((Is she even going to give me a chance to explain? How do I explain this to her? Can I explain this to her? Is she going to believe me?))  
  
FLASHBACK: 6 months ago  
  
"Agent Vaughn," Kendall barked.  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"We have a mission for you. This is highly classified, Omega-17. You can tell no one except your case workers."  
  
((Oh great, what do I have to do this time. Sounds pretty bad.)) "Alright, what is expected of me?"  
  
"We have reason to believe that a mole is trying to infiltrate the CIA. We know who the person is, but we need someone to get close to her, to find out her motives and who sent her. Jack Bristow, Devlin, and I have decided the best agent for this 'mission' is you."  
  
((Great, so I have to get close to a woman when I all think about is Sydney. I have a feeling this is going to be a long term assignment.)) "Sir, how long will this 'mission' last?"  
  
"Until everyone is satisfied with your findings. It could be 3 weeks, 6 months, 4 years. We don't care. We want the information and the person responsible. Now, you are to report to conference room 3 at 5pm to go over your new identity."  
  
LATER, AT THE BREIFING  
  
I walk into the conference room; there are papers all over the tables. A picture is on the multimedia screen. The beauty of the woman catches me by surprise. Jack walks up and hands me 3 folders.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, choose your identity, and choose carefully. We have no idea how long you will be undercover."  
  
"Jack, how am I supposed to obtain this information?"  
  
"Agent, you surprise me. With your brains and your looks, I thought you might be able to figure that out on your own."  
  
((I know my cheeks have turned red. Wait a minute, did the Great Jack Bristow actually make a joke? Guess there is no stops on this train. Just hop on and go until it crashes or comes to a grinding halt. Well, I guess the good news is that Jack is my case worker.))  
  
"Sir, how far am I allowed to go?"  
  
"Go as far as you need to. If it takes one night in a bar and a tumble in the sheets, then great. If it takes you dating her, I'm sorry, but the Agency comes first."  
  
"Sir, what if I haven't come up with the information after dating her for awhile?" ((Of course, my thoughts are, am I going to have to marry this woman? Do I have to tell her I love her, while I will always love Sydney? God, please don't make me marry this woman.))  
  
"Then you WILL do what is necessary, including if that takes more commitment on both of your parts."  
  
((What can this guy read my mind? I hope it doesn't come to that.))  
  
"Now, this woman, Jocelyn Perry, is the subject of the 'mission'. Here is your folder on her. You will find her interests vary widely and she herself is quite the interesting person. She grew up in Atlanta, GA and moved to LA to go to school. We have reason to believe she was contacted by an agency to infiltrate the CIA. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm your case officer because of my experience in this area. Have your chosen your cover yet?"  
  
((I have the choices laid out in front of me. I can be a Real Estate Agent, a Professor, or a bookstore owner. All of them have pros and cons: --CONS-- Real Estate-I have to dye my hair and have the name Zachary Creighton Smith. Professor-I teach literature; automatic dismissal, all I'll think about is Sydney. Bookstore Owner-dye my hair, change my name to Ethan Gage Bridges. --PROS-- Real Estate-no contacts, can look at houses for Sydney and I.if I can ever find her. Bookstore Owner-no contacts, not a too bad of a name, reminds me of Sydney, and I can catch up on my reading.))  
  
"Well, Jack, I've made my decision. I am now Ethan Bridges, blonde hair, green eyes, and owner of a small bookstore."  
  
"I figured you would pick that one. It reminded me of her as well," Jack said. "I miss her too Agent Vaughn, and I wish there was more the Agency could do, but there isn't."  
  
"I have one question Jack. If we do find her, can I tell her especially if things escalate to the point of me marrying Miss Perry?" ((Oh God, please let him say yes, please let him say yes.))  
  
"I don't have a problem with that, but I will talk to Devlin and Kendall."  
  
((Thank you Jack.I knew you had a heart in there somewhere.))  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
We've reached the tarmac where the CIA plane is waiting. We both get out of the car and get onto the plane. I go into the cockpit and tell the pilots we are ready. When I enter the cabin, Sydney has already taken window seat. I reach over her to get down a pillow and a blanket. Her face is turned towards the window, completely discouraging conversation. I leave the pillow and blanket on the seat next to her and leave her alone. ((She has so much information to process, and she doesn't even know half of it. I'll let her believe she has won the battle, but she won't win the war.))  
  
TBC  
  
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Please review and tell me if I should continue. I need help naming the bookstore Vaughn now owns!! HELP PLEASE!! 


	2. Silence

Explaining Can Be Tricky Chapter 2  
  
S/V Romance and Angst.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or the characters associated with the show. I also don't own the song "I Can't Be Your Friend"  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
She stayed with her face turned towards the window during the entire flight to LA. ((If we keep this up, I'll never be able to tell her why I have to wear this stupid ring. I wish I had never agreed to do this mission. What I am talking about, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.))  
  
As the plane taxied to a stop, Sydney finally decided that the window wasn't interesting anymore. When she looks at me, I give her a small smile, hoping that will thaw her out a little. From her reaction of rolling her eyes and looking away, I would guess it didn't work. Jack met us on the tarmac with two cars. At his pointed glance I gave him a slight shake of my head. He took Sydney's arm and guided her into one of the waiting car. He tossed me the other set of keys just before he got into the car with Sydney.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Sydney and Jack's Conversation  
  
"Sydney, I'm glad you're back"  
  
"Thanks Dad, but I'm really not in the mood to talk."  
  
Jack ignored her and asked, "Did Agent Vaughn have a chance to tell you what he is working on?"  
  
"No." "Not that I really gave him a chance though.I wonder what Dad means 'what he is working on'," Sydney thought.  
  
The rest of the car ride to the Task Force was silent  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
I climb into my car, and follow Jack and Sydney knowing that they are going to the Joint Task Force (JTF). Determined to take this time to just drive and clear my mind, I turn the radio on. What I hear next reminds me of a time 2 years ago, and lets me know what Sydney is probably feeling right know.  
  
~~ ~~  
  
"This might come as quite a shock But I've given it a lot of thought This thing that's come between us, can't be ignored I've taken all I can This is where it's gonna end I can't be your friend anymore And I can't be accused Of not being there for you How many nights have you shown up at my door I hope up understand That this wasn't in my plans But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
And it's killin' me to know you Without havin' a chance to hold you And all I wanna do is show you How I really feel inside You can run to me, you can laugh at me You can walk right out that door But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
So baby now it's up to you Do I win or do I lose Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor Oh take me as I am I wanna be your man But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
And it's killin' me to know you Without havin' a chance to hold you And all I wanna do is show you How I really feel inside You can run to me, you can laugh at me You can walk right out that door But I can't be your friend anymore"  
  
~~ ~~  
  
((That brings back so many memories. I remember talking to Sydney before we got the information to take SD-6 down. I basically told her that I couldn't be her handler anymore because I had feelings for her. Imagine my surprise and ultimate happiness when she told me she had feelings for me as well. Then of course we were reminded by Weiss about our meeting. If this is what Sydney is feeling now that she is back and I'm 'off the market' so to speak, it's going to kill me. Even after all this time, I still have strong feelings for her. Heck, who am I kidding, I love her. This stupid situation with Jocelyn is going to be more trouble than I think it's worth. I hope it ends soon.))  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Sydney and Jack pull into the parking garage for the JTF. As much as I wish I could join them, I continue driving. I have to stop at my bookstore, Pier 47, to do the accounting and lock up for the night. I call Jocelyn and let her know that I'm on my way back to the bookstore. All she knows about my whereabouts these past 2 days is that a distant cousin on my dad's side died. She shouldn't ask many, if any, questions.  
  
I guess I should review the information that was in Jocelyn's folder:  
  
Name: Jocelyn Perry Height: 5'6" Weight: 125 DOB: 07/12/1976 Hair: blonde Eye: blue  
  
What We Know: She was sent to infiltrate the CIA. We don't know who sent her. Her parents died young and her mother's sister raised her. She grew up in an affluent community. She graduated from the University of Georgia with her bachelors of Business Administration. She received her MBA from Emory.  
  
My Observations (personal, non business): She's the typical spoiled brat. She grew up in money; her parents died when she was young and left her their entire estate. She's smart and she knows it. She has a whiny voice that sends chills up my spine every time I hear it. She's clingy, every time we're out in public I feel like I have an octopus with me.  
  
What I've Learned (business): She has a private email account that is only used for business. Login Name: JRP5248 Password: Angeles2255 She often has phone calls on her private line. She cuts them short whenever I walk into the room. All attempts to bug this line and her computer have failed. The same has happened when trying to place tracers. Long distance calls have shown up on the phone bill, with no phone number.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Jocelyn's private line rings. She sends up a silent prayer that Ethan isn't home yet.  
  
"Hello"  
  
"Please enter your agent ID now"  
  
-5-2-4-8-  
  
"Jocelyn, nice to speak to you again. Have you any new information for us?"  
  
"No, he knows nothing of the CIA. This seems like a dead end."  
  
"Maybe we should cut our losses in LA then, hmmm?"  
  
"No. Give me a few more weeks; I can get you that information."  
  
"You have two weeks, no more no less. Remember what I told you about getting too close."  
  
Jocelyn sighed as the phone went dead.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
TBC  
  
"I Can't Be Your Friend" was written by Brad Crisler and Randy Clawson and is performed by Rushlow.  
  
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I really appreciate it, especially since this is technically my 2nd fanfic. Thank you to twin*muse for her suggestions for a bookstore name. Please R/R. I'll try to get the next update up soon. megvaughn2003 


	3. Explanation and Understanding

Explaining Can Be Tricky-Ch. 3 S/V Romance and Angst.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias  
  
A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating. I haven't had the inspiration, and I forced myself to write this. I hope you like it, even though I feel as though it stinks!  
  
Ethan and Jocelyn's House  
  
"Joc, I'm home," I yell as I walk in the door. The house is unusually quiet, odd for this time of day. Jocelyn is usually cooking dinner and has either the TV or radio on. I set my keys on the table by the door and check the mail. Bills, bills, junk, more junk, and more bills.  
  
"Jocelyn, where are you honey?" ((Ick.I hate calling her that.but I must keep up appearances))  
  
"I'm in our bedroom Ethan," she replies.  
  
I walk up the steps and down the hallway. When I walk into the bedroom ((I refuse to call it our room)) I noticed she is dressed up and is looking excited about something.  
  
"Are we going out tonight?"  
  
"Yes. We're going to this new restaurant. From what Stacy told me it used to be a really hot place, then the owner died and it closed. But recently an old friend of the owner opened the restaurant it again. I thought we'd eat there instead of me cooking."  
  
"Okay, sounds cool. Let me change clothes." ((Oh no, I bet we're going to Francie's, Will told me he was opening it back up))  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Back at the JTF  
  
"Agent Bristow, nice to see you again. Unfortunately, you have to be kept in medical services for a week while we run test to make sure you are who you say you are," Kendall tells Sydney upon her setting one foot inside the JTF.  
  
"Yes, I figured as much. Let's get this over with."  
  
Sydney goes through the preliminary testing and returns to the 'cell' she is staying in.  
  
"Sydney," Jack calls through the glass, "can I speak with you?"  
  
"Sure, I'm tired, but I can't sleep."  
  
The door unlocks and Jack walks into the 'cell'.  
  
"I want to tell you something, it's about Vaughn." "Dad, I really don't want to hear this. He betrayed me! You didn't even have proof that I was dead and he got married, he moved on, he forgot about me!!"  
  
"No, honey, he didn't. I really wish he could have told you this himself, but since he wasn't able, I'll tell you. Six months after you had been gone, Kendall ordered Vaughn to take on a 'swallow mission'. We had received intel that another agency had sent in an agent to infiltrate the CIA. Vaughn was ordered to intercept this agent and do whatever necessary to find out who she was working for. They dated for a year, and then she pushed him to get married. Vaughn is working under an alias, Ethan Bridges, and he spends his days managing a book store, Pier 47. While managing his store, he logs on to the secure network and basically telecommutes. I am his case officer. Vaughn and I are the only two who are allowed to speak about this to you, even though his case is classified Omega-17. Does that answer some questions?"  
  
"Dad, I was so horrible to him. I wouldn't look at him or even let him speak to me. He probably never wants to see me again."  
  
"I really doubt that sweetheart. Vaughn has some strong feelings for you, and if I don't mess my guess, you have strong feelings for him too."  
  
"I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I do. I really think I love him, dad. I thought I loved Danny, but what I feel for Vaughn is nothing like what I felt with Danny. I feel so alive with Vaughn, and I know I can trust him-with everything. Thank you for telling me."  
  
"Your welcome. I've got to leave now, try to get some sleep. I'll do my best to bring Vaughn by tomorrow afternoon if you feel up to it, okay?"  
  
"Sure dad. Thanks again."  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
TBC.please tell me what you think. I'll try and have an update up by next Friday, but don't hold me to it, I'm getting ready to move and the inspiration hasn't been coming easily. 


	4. The Visit

ECBT-The Visit  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters affiliated with the show.  
  
A/N: Here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
My secure cell wakes me up. I automatically reach for and answer it, "Yeah?"  
  
"Michael, it's Jack. I told her. She understands, and I'm hoping you will go see her tomorrow."  
  
I bring myself fully awake and reorient myself with the living room. I'm sleeping on the couch. I managed to make Jocelyn mad at me, like I care, so I was banished to the living room.  
  
"I'll go in before I go to the bookstore. It won't open until I get there. Is she still in medical services?"  
  
"She had tests taken all day; we won't know the results until late tomorrow. She's in a holding cell until then. She is being treated kindly and has most the comforts of home. I placed you on the list of people who are allowed to visit. At the moment the list includes you, myself, Kendall, Marshall, Dixon, Weiss and Will."  
  
"Alright, I'll go see her about 8 in the morning. Thanks Jack."  
  
"No problem"  
  
I disconnect the call and look at the clock. The bright red numbers tell me it is 4:30 in the morning. I might as well get up and do something, because I won't go back to sleep after a phone call like that.  
  
I pull on some running shorts and a t-shirt and head out for a mind clearing run.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
At 8 sharp I am standing outside Syd's cell. She hasn't woken up yet and I'm enjoying the freedom of watching her sleep.  
  
Her eyes slowly open and focus on me standing outside her cell. Once she recognizes me a slow grin spreads across her face.  
  
*Begin Syd's POV* ((How can I be mad at someone who looks that good? He's standing there with his hands in the pockets of his khakis, looking like he's not sure how I'm going to react. This has got to be the most casual I've ever seen him, his polo is untucked and the same shade of his eyes.)) *End Syd's POV*  
  
She slowly sits up and she looks more adorable than I can ever remember. I open the door and walk into her cell. She doesn't give me any clue to how she feels, just continues to watch me.  
  
I slowly walk towards her. When I'm about a foot away from her, I stop and she stands. My green eyes meet and hold her brown ones. Her eyes, which used to be so full of life, have become dull. Behind the dullness, though, I can see some of the life coming back. I reach out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. The moment my finger grazes her face, she breathes out my name.  
  
"Vaughn."  
  
I drop my hand from her face and pick up her hands in mine. We stare at each other like we are memorizing one another, vowing never to forget.  
  
"Sydney, I love you," I tell her in a whispered voice. I feel her hands grip mine tightly at my declaration.  
  
"Michael, I love you too."  
  
I pull her into my arms and revel in the fact that after 2 years she still fits my body like she was made for it. We stand there hugging each other in the middle of her cell for what seems like hours, but must be just a few minutes.  
  
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you in Hong Kong and on the flight back," she says, her voice muffled because her mouth is against my shoulder.  
  
"Sydney, shhh. I forgive you and I hope and pray you forgive me for what I had to do after you went missing."  
  
"Vaughn, of course I forgive you. My dad told me everything last night, and I do remember how big of a pain and how insufferable Kendall can be at times."  
  
"I have to ask though.do you have feelings for her. Do you know when this 'mission' will end?" she asks me softly.  
  
"I don't have feelings for her, I promise you I don't. Unfortunately I don't know when it will be over. I'm going to work my butt off to have it over with in another 6 months."  
  
"I will wait for you. Six months, a year, it doesn't matter. I'll wait. I know you are the one I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. If Sloane couldn't change that, then this mission or anything else won't change it either."  
  
"There may be ways that we could see each other while I'm still on this 'mission'. We'll have to hide, so my 'wife' doesn't get suspicious, but I'll take as much time as I can with you."  
  
I hand her a piece of paper with my secure email written on it, "this is my secure email, use it whenever you need to talk to me. No one else checks this account, though the CIA monitors its use."  
  
"Syd, I don't want to go, but I need to get to my store. Even though it is just a cover, I do have customers, book orders, and shipments. I'll come see you again tomorrow morning, or maybe during my lunch hour"  
  
"If you must go, then you must. I understand your position, and I hope this situation can be cleared up soon. If anything changes, like if they let me go home with my dad, I'll be sure to let you know. My dad will contact you if I can't."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you soon then."  
  
We embrace again, this time letting our lips meet in a sweet, tender kiss. She walks me to the door of her cell, causing one of the guards to begin to walk towards us. I shake my head at him and he stops where he is. I give Sydney one last kiss on her cheek and tell her I'll see her again soon.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it! It may be awhile till the next update, my schedule is going to be really hectic for the next few weeks. I'll get the next update up as soon as I can! Thanks!!!! 


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